Tag Archives: sex

“Why did I marry you?” A #MondayBlogs romance post.

Who doesn’t have days where you look at your spouse or long-term love and wonder, “What the hell was I thinking? This person is a ________.”

Yep, me too and this post will help in the, “Where did you say the carotid artery is, again?” area. I have experience in this “relationship lasting so long” thing and I have some ideas.

Note: if there is real abuse going on, Google local family couseling. Seriously, because I can work the romance but not fix emotional or physical pain. That’s for the professionals.

But if you’ve forgotten why you fell for this person, you’re in the right place because I have a few things to try. Grab your partner and we’ll get started. These can be done in any order over any time span.

  1. Tell each other how you met and/or about your first date. One person first, then the other and no interrupting. Experts say how a person recounts meeting their spouse tells a lot about how long the marriage will last.
  2. Each person picks something they don’t care to do but the other person loves. Then do it. I’m assuming the task isn’t harmful or degrading, unless you’re into that sort of thing. For me, my husband wears men’s cologne because he’s “meh,” about it while I love whatever he wears. For him, I’d probably sign a book and address the envelope for my Goodreads winner for him to mail. I am postally impaired and he enjoys when I get things ready for him. Doing something small in your mind can mean love to someone else.
  3. Another together activity is giving reassurance. This is for the “Sure I love you. I married you, right?” types. If you use words already, switch it up and use actions. My husband shows me love with flowers and kisses goodbye. I tell him love with the words and pointing out what he does well. So, we switch it up by me doing something nice and him telling me how terrific I look. I know, he’s delusional but I love him anyway, lol!
  4. Date nights. If you’re not already having them, why not? Dates are fun and dating your spouse is awesome. You don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing because you probably already have by now. You know about their weird aversion to food touched each other on a plate. (That may just be us with that one.) You both know you’re probably going get lucky later that night. See? Date nights are awesome. Be warned, buffets and sex don’t mix. Helpful hint: Skip the second trip to the dessert bar. Some things should not be done on a full stomach.
  5. Start a healthy or productive habit together. My husband and I have two healthy habits, sort of. Walking in the park every evening is gone for now, thanks to daylight savings time and winter. The habit is there, so I know we’ll spend time on the treadmills or weights from now until spring. The second habit is the going on  the Parade of Homes every spring and fall. Our city’s realtors band together and host open homes. There are listing of addresses, builders, prices, and subdivisions. We pick our favorite and go see them in person. The higher priced homes give both of us motivation to stay on our business goals. The main thing is find something you both love or want, and make it a habit.

Try one or all of these and tell me what you think. If you have any other getting to know you again ideas, comment below. To keep up on the weekly romance ideas, follow me here. ❤

 

Romance after 50? Is it possible? Here is what I know for sure. #MondayBlogs

Once upon a time, I was a teenager who read copious amounts of romance novels. Ah, love. Full of longing, conflict, and the inevitable happy ending. Every new relationship was a rosebud waiting to bloom.

Um, no.

Even with the optimistic point of view, seeing my parents manage their real-life marriage kept me grounded. A truly successful commitment took work and compromise and I knew nothing was perfect. In fact, my father often said if two people never argued, someone was giving in. I vowed to never knuckle under to some knuckle head.

Fast forward to my fifties and all of the lessons I learned about love? I can see why older men go for younger women. Someone in her twenties is far more malleable than a woman in her fifties or even forties. My personal example?

While married to my first husband, I was twenty-one when he said he wanted a vasectomy because he didn’t want children. If I wanted to have a baby, he continued, I’d have to have one with someone else. His proclamation to my until-death-do-us-part mindset was as if a doctor said I was sterile. I was heartbroken.

If my husband said such a thing now? He wouldn’t, because he’s a far better human being than my ex ever will be, but if he did? My older and wiser self would say, “Challenge accepted and I have candidates picked out.”

There are several more examples of a boyfriend giving me orders while I scrambled to be a better person for him. Ah, youth. So how does a woman who’s outgrown the wide eyed optimism about relationships make her own life more romantic? My answer was to marry a romantic man, but I know that can’t work for everyone.

Going forward in this new #MondayBlogs series of mine, I’m digging deep and exploring how to bring out the love and romance in life for everyone. A life of love, fulfilling relationships, and happiness is possible for people willing to reach for more.

New and Improved Very Best Man

My entire Very Manly series has been undergoing a huge makeover in the past six months. The whole process turned out to be a lot more work than I’d planned but is also a lot more rewarding. There’s so much to write about the amazing editor who worked with me, my wonderful publicist, and my “Oh no, not again,” digital content manager/husband. Let’s just say I’ve learned setting deadlines for others can be a necessary thing.

How new and improved can this book be? So much so that I’ve added 10,000 words to the original story. Not by appending or inserting new chapters but by adding more drama and more importantly, more feeling. The love scenes are a lot spicier, too.

Now, on to the good stuff. The VERY Best Man releases tomorrow and is available for preorder now.

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Jane Lawson is getting married, so of course her sister Susan will be her maid-of-honor. But when sis skips out on planning the wedding, Jane finds a surprising stand-in… the best man!

Dr. David Wells is more than willing to taste wedding cakes, sample reception menus, and even help the bride in and out of wedding dresses, if it means spending time with her. Soon enough, she’ll be his best friend Alan’s wife… and thus off limits forever.

But when the groom says ‘I don’t’, and runs off with the maid-of-honor, his best man is left to pick up the pieces of the bride’s heart. David is more than willing, and as Jane turns to him for support, their friendship blossoms into something much more.

Until Jane’s old fears get in the way, and David realizes that to keep her, he must fight not only her hostile family, but ghosts from her past.

Not Going There On The Oregon Trail for #MondayBlogs

I’m currently elbows deep in the third and final novel of my Oregon Trail series. A lot of writers feel sad when a series ends, but not me. There’s three more series hanging out in my idea folder at the moment and I’m wanting to start all of them right this minute. What are they? A three book set on the American West, a three to six book set on historical romances from around the world, and a six book minimum murder mystery series. I really can’t wait, all of them are going to be fun.

But, let’s get back to the salacious.

Like television most times, none of my books go into the bathroom details of live along the Trail. And you know, I don’t even want to think about it. They didn’t pack toilet paper and finding water was a treat. There’s nothing romantic about chafing due to unclean.

Food. My books has a little of the bland diet, but really? They only had what they could find, carry, or trade for along the way. No refrigeration or even an ice chest. I don’t know about you, but I LOVE my fridge. Ours died a few years ago and it wasn’t pretty. Of course this happened in summer, winter would have been too convenient in the cold department.

Speaking of camping…what if every time you wanted a hot meal you had to build a fire from scratch. Even better? In a place like this:

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Just waiting for that buffalo to poop. Then it’s a wait until the poop dries. It might be a while. Hope you’re not starved. Speaking of buffalo, he’s looking mighty tasty….

 

 

 

 

Water that’s free of bugs, dirt, and amoebas. Cholera and typhoid free too, please. Add dysentery to the mix and it was an ugly death. Specifically death by diarrhea. I left that out, because, romance and all. Nothing kills the mood faster than, well, lots of poop.

Sleeping on the ground is in my books along with the getting the bedding out and putting it away every day. In the beginning, my husband asked about a romance (sex) in the wagon. I said no, too squeaky. Then he said, “Not on the ground!” as if aghast at the idea. I laughed at him, not knowing I’d married such a 5 star hotel kind of guy. But yeah, on the ground, against a tree, behind that bush, and hopefully quiet because who wants to get caught with their pants down or their skirt up?

It’s been somewhat nice for my characters that they’re in a very arid region. Wind and dust are huge problems, but rain isn’t. I’ve put in a skim-the-surface description of the cold at night. Which was fun because my southern editor called me on it. Water doesn’t freeze in August, right? Up in the high desert, it does! Maybe not solid, but it does get that cold. Especially in the 1850’s at the end of the Little Ice Age.

I’m positive there are other gritty details I’m leaving out that were also not included in my series. What do you find that writers tend to leave out of historical romances that would crack you up if they included?  Comment and tell me!

Rosemary Rey’s Sexy Novels! Must see for #MondayBlogs.

Today’s Monday Blog Post is brought to you by Rosemary Rey! They sound like fascinating stories and I’m betting they’re steamier than what I write. So if you’re in the mood for something hot, I think Ms. Rey has just the thing!

The Pentagon Group series is a three part series of contemporary romance/erotica novels with suspense. Rebound is the first book and is followed by Unbound, which have been in circulation since April and September of 2014. Both books are being re-released today, March 30, 2015, exclusively on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.

Rebound, The Pentagon Group, Book One, is available for 99 cents: A year after Perla Mercurio divorced her first lover in a contentious divorce, she resigned herself to being single. After a doctor’s visit, she meets Dr. Mathias Keene, and her attraction to him sparks her sexual desires. When Perla and Matt dance at a club, their chemistry is undeniable. Immediately, they undertake a whirlwind romance. Perla falls head over heels in love with the dashing doctor, but is he all that he seems?

 

Unbound, The Pentagon Group, Book Two, is available for $2.99: Perla Mercurio discovers that the man she fell in love with, Dr. Mathias Keene, wooed her under false pretenses. Upon her discovery of the truth, she tries to mend her broken heart, leaving the handsome doctor in her past. However, Matt is not so easy to shake off. In an effort to win back the love of his life, he makes Perla an offer she cannot refuse. To move forward with her life, Perla must make the hardest decision she’s even encountered. Will she be able to move on from Matt and the men of The Pentagon Group?

 

Bound, The Pentagon Group, Book Three will be published in April of 2015. Cover reveal for Bound will be available before publication and will be found exclusively on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.

If you’ve read one or both books in the series and haven’t left a rating or review, please consider helping this Indie Author out and write a review.

I Need More Sex

I’m halfway through with writing a book, Undesirable.  The plan?  To have it chock full of hot, romantic, adulterous pioneer sex.

The result so far?  Not even a kiss between the two main characters.  This is a romance, they’re supposed to at least kiss.

Not until chapter six, I guess.

So, the question on most non-writer’s minds is most likely why can’t I just force the issue?  Aren’t I, as the author, the one in control?

To which I answer, I was in control, but now I’m not.  I created the setting and conflict.  I created the characters, each with their own lives and motivations.  They’re not 3-D, more like 100-D, with that many dimensions to them.  Again, why can I not ‘write’ them what to do?

Because my work with creating them is done. It’s kind of like having adult children.  You can set things up to be easy or difficult, but in the end, character drives their actions.  I think in the best stories I’ve ever watched or read, the characters are always true to themselves.  Sam in Undesirable is a straight arrow, intent on right and wrong.  Even if wrong is where he wants to go, he won’t because that’s not who he is.  Marie, his love interest in the novel, is also an honest person.  Her feelings for Sam are growing but her love for her husband is keeping her from giving in to them.  Me?  I’d planned on them having a make out session in chapter one, and yet, it’s in chapter six that they kiss.  I’m not even sure they’ll do that, to be honest.

So now I put it back on you.  Are readers in an instant gratification world fine with extended sexual tension?  Can characters be truly that strong in a writer’s mind that they call the shots?  Is adding violence a good way to substitute for the lack of sex?