This isn’t the most natural blog post for me. If anything, I have a super tough time not meeting people and making friends. Getting out and finding new acquaintances comes naturally to me. If it doesn’t work for you, hang out with me, and I’ll share some hints. Also, while I wanted to include lovely photos, I do have that deadline.
“I don’t know if I can buy things online. I want to touch, feel, and be sure it’s what I want.”
“You’re showing your age.”
Sigh. Yes, I’m not the youngest out there and do like the in-person stuff. However, I am totally pwning the buying stuff online. (is pwning still a thing? is it not cool since I used it?) So is there hope for people who want to meet face to face and have the warm fuzzies when dating is all digital? Heck yeah!
It’s getting to where I know more couples who have met online, married or committed, and have continued to be happy years later. I’m not naming names, but some have met up in AOL chat. I know! Ancient!
But how? How do you know who a person is online and if you’ll like them? Good question! The first thing is to be honest in your profile. Even if you’re the only one who is, be honest. You don’t want a person attracted to a lie or even half truth. Lies are exhausting to keep up on a forever basis. Besides, you want to be loved for who you are, not who you can’t be. Honesty is good in the photo, too. Be recent and be proud of who you are right now. No one is perfect or where they want to be. Anyone who would judge you harshly on how you look now is not someone worth your effort.
Which leads to another aspect, the social media or dating app. Don’t roll around on Facebook for people if you’re a Twitter person. There is a definite difference between people who favor one or the other. If you wanted some opposites attract sort of thing, sure. Match your Snapchat to their blogger. Just be aware you’re quick and dirty while they’ll talk everything to death. If I weren’t on a deadline, I would list the Briggs-Meyer personality types of social media. Google the term if you don’t know what I mean. The Briggs-Meyer type is far more accurate than your zodiac sign.
If you’re someone who doesn’t trust easily or do want the in-person meetup, cool! Have I got some ideas for you. First of all, look at what you do when not at work. Do you go straight home? The gym? The grocery store? What hobbies do you have? My fave one, knitting, is not conducive to meeting guys. My husband doesn’t mind, but if I were single? I’d add in something a little more masculine. If you’re a guy who’s into cars, airplanes, monster trucks, all guy stuff, try something outside of your comfort zone. Cooking, art, exercise, any class you’d be leery of trying because it’s new and you might not be perfect at it. And if you’re a gal who’s done all that to no avail? Try auto repair, finance planning, monster trucks for a change of scenery.
I know this seems like I”m going along set gender roles, and I am. However, the gist of this is to push you out of the ordinary and into the extraordinary. Change is painful, I know, but if you want to find a new romantic partner, you’ll need to do new things. The worst case scenario is you don’t meet the love of your life but learn something terrific and new.
Which leads me chatting about comfort zones and why they need to be crashed through sometimes. I’d read in Canadian Runner about how embracing the discomfort makes a better runner. Speed goes up, the mental outlook improves, and crossing finish lines are easier when someone accepts and ignores the desire to stop.
When I sit down to write on my latest story in progress, the article came to mind because Tamed, a paranormal shifter romance, is way way outside of my comfort zone. Not that writing had become easy. I don’t know if telling stories and fretting about my Shatneresc use of commas ever will be. What I’m sure about is researching a new genre to make sure readers’ expectations are met is not my usual work.
and each one makes everything much more fun. Dinner, clubbing, going on a yarn store crawl, whatever you all enjoy will work.
In all the craziness, my husband and I made time to reconnect and remind ourselves of what’s truly important.
Set aside the devices for better sleep unless you’re like my guy and me. We go to my Twitter feed, getting angry or laughing together at what people post online. A mutual foot massage would be terrific, too. Bath and Body Works has some wonderful anti-biotic lotions available. I went on a shopping spree several years ago and still have some stocked up.
Laura Stapleton, Author 